Read this and then preset the book that's mentioned at the end of the
email. Its one of the most helpful books I've ever read. ---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Bill Perkins
Date: Thursday, June 9, 2011
Subject: Why Did Weiner Do Something So Stupid?
To: jeff@ph-church.org
The Illusion of Young Love
When Good Men Are Tempted Now Available at the Low Price of $11.15 This best selling book, that has been translated into eleven
languages, details a step by step strategy for moral purity that
really works. "Bill Perkins writes with honesty, vulnerability, and remarkable
insight. Every man should read this book!" Dr. Les Perrot III,
author of Saving Your Marriage Before it Starts. Click Here to Purchase
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autographed by Bill with one of his favorite verses. By now you've likely seen Rep. Anthony Weiner first deny and then
later admit he sent sexually explicit images on his Tweeter account to
Gennette Cordova, a Seattle college student. In his confession he
admitted having numerous "inappropriate" online and telephone
communications with six women over three years. The more details that
emerge the more deceitful and damaging his behavior appears. Upon
hearing the story most people scratch their head and wonder how he a
man with such intelligence and power could be so stupid. I Can Recreate the Thrill of Young Love While Weiner's personal history that created his sexual
compulsion/addiction may be complex, understanding the need he was
seeking to fulfill isn't. While appearing on The O'Reilly Factor during Clinton's fiasco with
Monica Lewinsky, I pointed out that there are two kinds of addictions:
substance and process. With a substance addiction someone puts a
chemical into their body, like alcohol or cocaine, which produces a
powerful mood swing. A process addiction, such as a gambling or sex
addiction, involves a person entering into a process which releases
dopamine, endorphins, and adrenaline into the blood system, triggering
a powerful and pleasurable rush of pleasure. The catch is that the
addict has to increase the risk to get the rush. The gambler has to
risk more money. The sex addict has to risk his reputation,
relationships and career. After interviewing hundreds of men and reading thousands of pages on
the subject of sexually compulsive and addictive behavior, I've
concluded the rush a sex-addict is after is similar to the
exhilaration of young love. A lot of people think feelings of romantic love are the true measure
of love. Consequently, because they seldom have such feelings for
their spouse they conclude they must not be in love at all. Over time,
they feel as dead emotionally as a cadaver is physically. And then
suddenly, and maybe even unexpectedly, they see a pornographic image
on their computer monitor. Or, a pretty and flirtatious coworker
places a hand on their shoulder and asks them out for lunch. Or maybe
someone contacts them on Facebook or on their Tweeter account.
Instantly, they experience an emotional resurrection. The long lost
and almost forgotten thrill of young love is theirs again. Like a
teenager about to cross the line and kiss his girl for the first time,
they feel excited and nervous and alive. But there's a problem that Weiner either didn't know or ignored. The Law of Diminishing Returns Men who get turned on by porn or sexual email and phone conversations
will find that what once aroused them quickly becomes routine. That's
because sexual sins involve the law of diminishing returns. Which
means it takes more and more stimulation and a greater risk to get the
same degree of pleasure. Most of us can remember that first kiss and
how quickly we wanted to move from first to second base. Sexual sins
are progressive because each experience seems less exciting than what
comes next--or what a man hopes will come next. Once a man has seduced a woman, he has planted the flag. She is
his--at least for the moment. The hunt, or pursuit, is over. If you're
a single guy, I've got some disappointing news for you. Many married
men consider their sex life boring. Why? Because they've progressed as
far with their wife as they can. There's no challenge. There's no new
terrain to explore. Even in the best of marriages, with the best
possible sex, men still periodically struggle with such feelings. When women ask, "Why is my husband so attracted to pornography?" I ask
them, "Do you remember as a teenager when you first fell in love? Do
you remember how good it felt to be with your boyfriend? Do you
remember how you wanted to be with him all the time?" Most women smile and say they remember. "That's how your husband feels
about pornography, or online or phone sex," I tell them. "It gives him
the thrill of young love." And that is part of the reason Rep. Anthony Weiner did something so
stupid. He blindly pursued the "thrill of young love." Every stupid
and sexually inappropriate Twitter message and phone conversation
created a pleasurable rush he felt compelled to experience over and
over again. To increase the rush he took increasingly dangerous risks that could
get him caught. That's part of the reason Rep. Weiner did something so stupid. And so
could we if we're not careful. For more insight into the problem and for a strategy for sexual
integrity you may want to read my book:
When Good Men are Tempted
. Locking arms, Bill Bill's Blog I hope you'll visit my blog at www.billperkins.com
.
It will provide you with a great place to interact with me and others
about what I've written. Hope you'll visit and share a thought or two. Million Mighty Men
Resources
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