| Analogy of Marriage: A Base Camp for Mountain Climbing |
When dealing with couples, my wife and I draw the analogy between marriage and a base camp for mountain climbing. If one wants to climb mountains one must have a good base camp, a place where there are shelter and provisions, where one may receive nurture and rest before one ventures forth again to seek another summit. Successful mountain climbers know that they must spend at least as much time, if not more, in tending to their base camp as they actually do in climbing mountains, for their survival is dependent upon their seeing to it that their base camp is sturdily constructed and well stocked.
M. Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled |
| RelatingWell: Differences |
| Deborah Tannen, who writes about communication, has some new work about gender differences in conversations. She says that women usually want to connect and men's conversation is more focused on hierarchy, wanting to be in a one-up position.
Tannen listened to many adult conversations and studied little children also and found that little girls want to connect, "I like that, too!" and little boys often want to top each other, "I can hit the ball farther."
It isn't always divided into male and female genders; some women are more competitive and men who are in a mood to please can be very accommodating and agreeable.
The point is to understand that we have different patterns of conversation and to know that when we want to be close, both of us need to make the effort to be warm, responsive and agreeable to each other.
-- Bea Strickland |
| This Matters More Than Money |
| What really matters As we come to the end of the year, many people are suffering from the pain of Christmas debt. Others are troubled with the upheavals of the financial markets. Let me remind you of the words of Jesus: "A man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." If you understand that truth it will change your life forever. Real satisfaction is found not in money, but in loving relationships with God, our spouse, children, and friends. Loving relationships are our greatest assets. Most of us could live with less money, and may of necessity have to do so. But, if that helps us focus on relationships, then we still come out winners. Why not have a family 'soup' night - eat only soup and crackers and thank God that you are alive and together. Do you ever wonder what we did before computers? I think we played games. I think we had meals together and talked about what was going on in our lives. I think husbands and wives made love, and children felt secure. I think fathers and sons threw the ball in the back yard. I think mothers and daughters made doll dresses. I think we had families. What if, just for a week, we said "NO" to the computer and the television and said "YES" to the family? What would that look like in your house? You might be surprised. You might even like it. You might even decide to make a New Year's resolution to make family a priority. If so, I think you will have discovered what God had in mind when He instituted the family. Choose your attitude Friday will be the last day of another year. Has it been a good year for you? Some of you would say, "Well financially, it hasn't been a good year." Others would say, "When it comes to my health, no, it hasn't been a good year." Unfortunately, many would say, "For my marriage, it hasn't been a good year." Some things are beyond our control. That's true in the area of finances, health, and relationships. But always we choose our attitude. Will we curse the darkness or will we light a candle? Will we trust God, or rail out in anger? Why not conclude this year by making peace with God, and asking Him for wisdom in how you can best respond to your present situation. Life with God is always better than traveling alone. Adapted from the A Love Language Minute broadcast for the week of December 27, 2010. Share your questions, thoughts insights, or comments by joining the conversation on Facebook atfacebook.com/5lovelanguages. |